Why are we waiting?

Why are we waiting?

  Waiting, it’s never a nice experience is it? I work with a lot of women who are waiting to get better, waiting to have a baby or waiting for a diagnosis. They feel they have been waiting their whole lives. Like it’s all been put on pause and then one day they want something and they have to wait some more. I truly feel that if we are to get ahead of these dis-eases that plague women so much now adays, then we had better become BBF with our own bodies and unique ways within them. We don’t need to wait to be told we have an issue, or our fertility is compromised. It’s all there for us to see as plain as the nose on our face if we take the time to look and understand. Our beautiful wonderful amazing bodies are dutifully giving us all the answers

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Childfree or Childless – I’m neither actually

Childfree or Childless  – I’m neither actually

Childless or childfree I don’t resonate with either of these labels. I know we can all get a bit pedantic about labels these days and this could be another roll your eyes moment about something else we aren’t meant to say, but hear me out. I’m not less or free of anything I just knew I didn’t want to have kids. I never use those terms because less feels like I am not complete and free feels like I’m not able to commit! It occurred to me the other day when I was talking about this and I actually couldn’t get either of those words out and simply said I don’t have kids! Now you might be thinking ok, what is the point of all of this, well the point is there is still a huge amount of stigma attached to a woman that chooses not to pop a baby

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Do you know your needs?

Do you know your needs?

I think all of us know the need of hunger, anyone else get hangry? I know it can’t be just me. Mark and I went to Rome for the weekend a few years ago, standing by the Trevi Fountain taking in the sights, he was busy taking some photo’s and the growl in my tummy was getting louder. I go quiet – it’s the first sign – “You ok?” asked Mark “We have about 20mins before I lose my shit” was my reply. “Bugger ok let’s go get eats now then!” I’m vile when I get hungry or tired combine the two and it’s not pretty in the slightest. Meeting those needs though before they go into the red zone, that is something I know well about myself and ALWAYS CARRY SNACKS! So if we know about hunger, and we act upon it to make us feel better why is

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Endometriosis – stop telling me how shit it is and lets take some action.

Endometriosis – stop telling me how shit it is and lets take some action.

Raising awareness of Endometriosis isn’t going to happen if we keep wanging on about how rubbish it is, because as it stands at the moment all we are doing is moaning about period pain. The world needs a shift in understanding periods before it will ever understand endometriosis. Saying about how much pain we are in and how heavy our bleeds are to name just 2 of the several hundred symptoms of endo, isn’t enough because we aren’t being heard. Women themselves believe periods should be horrific, they see no reason to question them so how are we going to raise awareness of a disease we don’t know much about when we don’t know much about our own bodies? Writing a blog about your endo experience pretty much reads the same to every women who has it. All endo rebels can resonate with the writer because she has felt the

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It isn’t luck that got me here

It isn’t luck that got me here

Sometimes I think am I lucky? Am I a fluke to have Endometriosis, Adenomyosis and Fibroids and have symptom free periods? I read a quote the other day that said ‘it isn’t luck, it is preparation and opportunity’… and I thought fuck yes it is! I know there are women out there that read my blogs like the one I got published and think phuut its alright for her she’s just the lucky one. I’m not, I started listening, I started to tune into my body and see what it was that she needed and I started to change things until I found stuff that worked. It was quite a bit of trial and error I can tell you. When I had my diagnosis of Endo and Adeno and I thought, ah-ha here is my opportunity to put into practice all I have taught myself I turned down the hormones

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The Well Woman Action Plan

The Well Woman Action Plan

“I’m so tired I can’t put one foot in front of the other.” “I wish everyone would just piss off and leave me alone.” “Why can’t you all see what I need?” “Oh my God my period is so heavy I hope I don’t leak on the seat, I can feel it leaving my body, I can’t concentrate I just need to get to the toilet NOW.” “It feels like someone has punched me in the stomach, I feel so sick and the cramps are so bad. How am I going to do today?” “I don’t know how much longer I can take this.” “I just live off of pain killers during my period.” “I actually hate you so much right now I want to leave this partnership” “You have no idea what I’m going though right now.” “I just need some chocolate, or some cake or something sweet so

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PMS – A special report

PMS – A special report

Period Mother-fuckery Shitfit is well known term for the epidemic that blights most females across the globe. It is pandemic in our society, and women with this condition must be handled with care. They are quite frankly a ticking time bomb of huge proportions, and those that have been caught in a PMS attack have reported it to be savage, traumatising and quite unfair. It seems most victims are side blinded by an attack when asking, ‘has anyone seen my keys?’ or ‘has my PE kit been washed?’ Reports say it’s very difficult to predict when and if it may occur, but when it does you wish you hadn’t asked. Some tests have been carried out on the females affected. So far it seems some of the findings suggest not listening to your body, putting yourself last on the priority list and eating shit food and real areas of concern.

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Top 3 Things to help with Endometriosis that the adverts don’t tell you.

Top 3 Things to help with Endometriosis that the adverts don’t tell you.

  The recentish advert from a major tampon brand claiming power over your periods while zip lining or whizzing down a log flume has really pissed me off. Why am I getting my knickers in a bunch over this? It’s the message that it is sending that tips me over the edge. I started looking back through the adverts on youtube, and they ALL pretty much amount to the same. Use this tampon to plug up your fanny and you will be able to wear white, swim, jump about like a loony with you friends and forget all about being on your period. From what I can tell these were all written and directed by men, because I guess that’s how they view it. And this masculine message of dealing with our periods is churned out over, and over, and over again. Keeping the message strong that we just have

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What the Feck is Mizan anyway?!

What the Feck is Mizan anyway?!

Mizan means “balance”, and a Mizan treatment is doing just that – bringing balance back to the body. It is really gentle, and works over your tummy and lower back, from just below the bottom of your rib cage to the top of your pubic bone, and from your mid back to your tail bone. I would describe it as gentle but profound, and very intrinsically woman-centred. Mizan is more than ‘just’ a massage, it is a wholistic therapy and consultation which looks at your lifestyle and how it is contributing to your health. Your first treatment with me, I will have sent you a form for you to fill out, it’s quite in-depth and covers your diet, lifestyle, family history, emotional well being, menstruation symptoms, pregnancies and birth, menopause and most importantly why you have decided to have this treatment. It can seem quite daunting filling out the form,

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Why don’t we talk about periods?

Why don’t we talk about periods?

I was asked a very interesting question over the weekend… Why don’t we talk about our periods and what effect does this have on women and girls? As I was compiling my answer, I sat and figured out how long I have been having periods. 22 years 264 periods An average of 1,320 days bleeding I’m 36 and I only found out 6 months ago that I had fibroids, ovarian cysts, endometriosis and adenomyosis. However, I knew intuitively something wasn’t right with me about 10 years ago. That’s 120 periods back 600 days of periods. Looking at it in terms of numbers and hours it really started to make me think, holy crap how long did I ignore all that for? How long did I put up with the fob-offs and the nobody-really-knowings? How long was I in the dark about my own body? Too fucking long is the answer

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Why Am I in this Hormonal Hell?

Why Am I in this Hormonal Hell?

Every single damn month without fail: cramping, bloating, sore boobs, weeping, wanting to poke eyes out with spoons, white hot irrational rage followed by plummeting into barely being able to pick up my cup of tea, craving anything packed with sugar… taking a quick breath above the water before around we go again on the purgatory period (not even remotely) merry-go-round. The sympathetic members of your family will ask: what the bloody hell is the matter with you? To which you scream or wail (depending where you are at): I don’t fucking know, I just feel unsupported/overwhelmed/nobody does anything in this sodding house/I hate my boss shit fit. Everything hurts. Your belly, back, legs. Your boobs are so sensitive your bra feels like glass and you need your stretchy clothes. Where the fuck are they?! Everything needs to be black in case you leak out; you delve to the bottom

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Phyto-Oestrogens plant based oestrogen that can affect our health.

Phyto-Oestrogens plant based oestrogen that can affect our health.

I have talked a lot about the xeno-oestrogens – the ‘foreign’ oestrogens we get from beauty products, plastics and non-organic foods. In this blog I wanted to look a bit more in-depth at the phyto-oestrogens – the plant-based oestrogens that are found in various types of foods. Phyto-oestrogens are a generally weaker form of oestrogen when compared to both the natural oestrogen we produce and xeno-oestrogens; however, they can still have an affect on our bodies, both positive and negative. It is important to understand these impacts, especially in the context of managing oestrogen dominance. We tend to think of oestrogen being a key player in reproductive health for both men and women. However it also plays a part in the cardiovascular, musculoskeletal, immune, and central nervous systems. On the positive side, phyto-oestrogens can help to enhance heart health, reduce certain types of hormonal cancers, improve Menopause health and boosts

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Oestrogen Dominance – What is it?

Oestrogen Dominance – What is it?

Oestrogen dominance is causing havoc in most of our lives, it affects women and men and its symptoms can be devastating. Endometriosis is just one of the dis-eases you can acquire with oestrogen dominance. Oestrogen is found naturally in our diet but more worryingly xeno-oestrogens, which are foreign oestrogens, are mimicking our own natural oestrogen and having huge disruptions, creating imbalance to our hormones and our health. When the environment we live in was free from oestrogen pollutants 70 years ago there were only 21 reported cases of endometriosis the current number in North America alone in 5.5million. A study in 1993 showed monkeys that had been fed a diet containing xeno-oestrogens over a four-year period developed endometriosis and a thickened uterus. In the UK 1 in 10 women, that’s around 3.2million have endometriosis, it takes around 7 years for a diagnosis so these are numbers that we know of!

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Thinking Yourself Sick

Thinking Yourself Sick

My biggest lesson – you don’t have to have had a baby to be a mother. During the heartache of negotiating a childfree life with Mr B, you might be forgiven for thinking that my work would have been like a red hot poker in my eye everyday. It really wasn’t at all. When I was teaching, or doulaing, or rubbing pregnant feet and bellies, I never felt rubbish. I nurtured and cared for those women to my highest ability and revelled in the work. I was, and still am, completely drawn to it. I did wonder that maybe not having experienced childbirth myself might be a bit of a problem. But my wise doula mentor put me at ease when she told me ‘Gem you won’t bring any expectation into that room, you will be free of your own story’.  Clients ask if I have kids but it has

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Childless by Choice

Childless by Choice

I’m Gem, the owner of The Well Woman Project where I work as a well woman specialist,   doula and teach The Wise Hippo birth programme. I help to empower women about their bodies and their choices in a safe and nurturing environment. Before I set up my business I was a paediatric nurse for 15 years. I have held hands with families through birth and death, wiped tears of joy and sadness. Hugged babies and teenagers, talked to parents throughout the night and reassured them in their hour of need. I have seen the best and worst of being a parent and a child. I am a woman, wife, daughter, sister, aunty, friend, and childless by choice. I share with you in the hope that at best it might help you discover some answers and at the very least some hope. Because, I think at the end of the

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The small things are the big things in disguise

The small things are the big things in disguise

I am sucker for a quiz, I could while away several hours on play buzz finding out who’s my fairy godmother, what breed of dog I am or what colour hair I should get next. Silly but strangely addictive and I enjoy it! So when I picked up a magazine to my delight there was a quiz, ‘do I know how to enjoy life’ – where’s the pen I thought, lets fill out this baby. Turns out I was mostly circles which means ‘I relish the art of small pleasures’. It’s true I am a sucker for a quiz! Small things and guilty pleasures sound pathetic and a bit naughty really though don’t they? What about big pleasures? What about all these things we are supposed to want, that we are bombarded with in our waking hours. Cars, bigger homes, holidays, clothes, eating out, new phones, computers, the latest stuff,

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A Life Line

A Life Line

I truly believe we find a message when we need to hear it, I love being creative and I have been meaning to make a Monkey’s Fist knot for a while now. I thought it was an unusual name; it’s given because it does indeed look a little like a fist and it made it easier to throw the ropes between ships, a lifeline if you will. Now I am great at starting out looking at one thing and progressing on to something else rather randomly. I don’t know how I got onto this but the next thing I was reading about was how to catch a monkey – well you never know!! The metaphor really struck me so I want to share it with you, I think we are all in need of learning how to catch a monkey. It’s fair to say it would be a tricky task

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Oh My God! Are you having an elephant?

Oh My God! Are you having an elephant?

I have a gap in my front teeth. In my whole entire life on Earth no one has mentioned it, questioned it or asked me why I have or haven’t had it fixed. I don’t know if people like it or hate it, no one has ever told me one way or the other. I love it, it makes me who I am and when I think about it that’s all that really matters. If someone did ask me why I hadn’t had my teeth fixed because I would look better for it, I would feel like making a gap in their teeth! It would be rude, insensitive, a bit pointless to really question it and above all none of their business. The information they would get from that question wouldn’t enhance their life one little bit. So I invite you to imagine one of these scenarios. You are at

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